Miami Dolphins can keep their name! Now, what to do about those…

Email sent to me:

I think all sports fans will get a kick out of this letter written to the Chicago Tribune…. Enjoy !

No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the Washington Redskins, this is funny. This guy is hilarious…

Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.

============================== ============================== ============================== =========Dear Mr. Page:  I agree with our Native American population.  I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins.

One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay.  We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let’s ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians.  If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60’s alive.  Gone.  It’s offensive to us white folk.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population.  Do you see a team named for the Confederacy?  No!  There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men’s lives.

I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names.  Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children.  The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits.  Wrong message to our children.

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic.  Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates.  Wrong message to our children.

The Milwaukee Brewers.  Well that goes without saying.  Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go.  We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should.  Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.

As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women’s athletic teams to something other than “the Beavers (especially when they play Southern California.  Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???

I always love your articles and I generally agree with them.  As for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the d’*k heads in Washington DC.

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Dear Liberal Mutual car insurance

yellow bumper car


Your customers are a menace to society. Accident forgiveness? Really? Do you know why auto insurance is too high for everybody? I’ll give you a hint. It’s because too many people are bad drivers who get into accidents—and, everybody has to pay.

“One little bumper. And there go your rates…” It’s a cruel, cruel world. BTW, was your “one little bumper” in my Wal-Mart parking lot last week? Next time, please find a wider parking space.

Although, I do have a question for that one lady. You know, the one who says (in that New York accent that I just adore. Or, is it New Jersey? Same thing): “You totaled your brand new car. No one was hurt, but…” HOW DO YOU TOTAL YOUR BRAND NEW CAR, AND NO ONE GETS HURT??? Why did she even mention that, BTW? I hope that if four or more people are Dead On Scene, you DO raise her rates.


And, their kids are wimps! Teenage boys can’t change a flat tire when it’s dark outside? Maybe those snowflakes should take auto shop in high school. Oh, wait. They don’t have that stuff anymore. They’re too busy learning revisionist history and learning about three new genders.

Get those girly-boys Allstate. At least their voices will sound impressive.

I live in Florida (which has way too many people from New York. Or, New Jersey. Same thing.), which has “No Fault” insurance. It was supposed to lower rates. Right. The only thing that will lower rates is to make it mandatory that every Driver’s License applicant also has to take a NRA Certified Firearms Safety Class—and get a CWP.

Why? Because, the requirements for a DL-plus-CWP will eliminate most people from New York, New Jersey, California, Oregon, Canada, and Washington, D. C.  And, Chicago. And Miami-Dade County. And Mexico, or any country that has more mules than cars. (It’s a pun…) Now that is how you make your highways safer—and your insurance premiums lower.

Well, I think my work is done here.

(P.S. I prefer NRA Carry Guard insurance. I hate tail-gaiters! But I love people from the above list of places. They’re the reason Donald J. Trump is POTUS).

Peace out!